Parenting Coordinator’s Role In NY High Conflict Custody Cases
CUSTODY ARTICLES / By Paul Matthews
My Name is Paul W. Matthews, I am an experienced Staten Island custody lawyer.
For some years, parents who have “high conflict” custody or visitation cases in the New York Courts have occasionally used professionals, usually very experienced family lawyers or psychologists, for guidance as “parenting coordinators”, sometimes called parenting coaches. With cooperation from the parties involved, these coordinators can assist in navigating complex issues. In the past, the use of a parenting coordinator (also known as a parent coordinator) was optional and was almost never mandated or formalized by the court. However, in scenarios where a court order is essential, consulting a child custody lawyer can provide valuable legal guidance to establish or modify custody arrangements, including joint custody options.
Recently, there has been a big push in the New York Court towards alternative dispute resolution (“ADR”) in all types of cases. This trend accelerated during the pandemic as a way of dealing with a large backlog of cases and disposing of them without requiring court appearances and reducing the workload of the court. Furthermore, ADR emphasizes cooperation and mutual understanding, which can be vital in high-stakes custody battles. A court order may also become necessary to outline specific custody agreements, ensuring both parties adhere to the established terms.
Parenting coordinators are not common when conflict between parents involves actual domestic violence or threats of violence, as the parenting coordinator could be exposed to safety risks, especially if one of the parties harbors a lot of anger. In such serious situations, the rights of all individuals must be carefully protected, often necessitating the involvement of a child custody lawyer to uphold legal boundaries and protections.
Who Are These Parenting Coordinators?
Table of Contents show 1 Who Are These Parenting Coordinators? 2 What Do Parenting Coordinators Do? 3 The Eighth District’s ADR Program Formalizing The Role
Parenting coordinators are usually premier family law attorneys or mental health professionals, such as forensic psychologists, who perform court-appointed forensic evaluations in custody cases. Their guidance can be pivotal in such contexts, hence their fees are usually quite high, commensurate with their experience and high standing in their fields. Parenting coordinators can be brought in during divorce proceedings, but more often are brought in after the divorce because the custody and visitation order is either not comprehensive enough, or there are problems with communication or adherence to the custody order or visitation order. A child custody lawyer often collaborates with these coordinators to ensure that joint custody, or other arrangements, are effectively implemented according to the court order.
Because these parenting coordinators can charge fees of $500 an hour or up, they are more common in families who live in Manhattan or other high-income neighborhoods of New York City, Westchester, or Long Island.
Some parenting coordinators are licensed social workers who have extensive experience dealing with children and families. A parenting coordinator will need to have some kind of license, either in law, psychology, or social work.
The role of the parenting coordinator should be distinguished from the role of the attorney for the child, even though both roles are frequently filled by attorneys. The attorney for the child is, in most cases, a pure advocate for the wishes of a child or children, protecting their rights, while a parent coordinator has a different and broader role. The parenting coordinator, on the other hand, does not represent or advocate for any of the parties and is impartial. A child custody lawyer, on the other hand, ensures that court orders are respected and disputes over joint custody or other legal issues are appropriately addressed.
What Do Parenting Coordinators Do?
Parenting coordinators usually work with parents who have “high conflict” cases in court or distrust one another to such a high degree that they have difficulty communicating with one another when there is no case active in court. In these cases, the involvement of a child custody lawyer may facilitate securing a court order to establish more structured interactions, such as joint custody arrangements.
Some parents who have been in court for many years on custody and visitation disputes have become so used to having all communications be through their attorneys that they absolutely refuse to communicate with each other. This situation often complicates decisions related to their children’s daily activities and school involvement, making cooperation even more challenging.
Typically, these parents have grown to dislike or even despise one another and are unable to communicate civilly about any issue. Parenting coordinators help them resolve disputes about custody arrangements and parenting time, assist parties in re-establishing communication with each other, and aim to educate them about their children’s needs, including participation in school activities, and the importance of minimizing conflicts for the benefit of the child or children.
In these situations, co-parenting is impossible without the aid of an impartial facilitator who can assist the parties with conflict management and, eventually, collaboration. In the beginning stages, parenting coordination looks more like an intervention for resolving issues related to custody arrangements. For parenting coordination to really work, the parenting coordinator must gain the respect of both parties.
Parenting coordinators meet with the parents and sometimes with the children, providing guidance and making referrals for helpful services. In situations where civil communication about school activities or other matters is impossible, parenting coordinators are the “go-betweens” for all sorts of decisions and issues, both minor and major.
In the most extreme high-conflict cases, the parenting coordinator will likely make referrals to one or even both of the parties for individual psychotherapy. Older children are sometimes referred for counseling, and this process is a crucial step in providing the necessary assistance to families dealing with high-conflict situations, especially when school performance or participation in activities is impacted.
Periodically, when dealing with high-conflict parents, NY judges are more likely to make very detailed and specific orders for parenting time. Because the visitation orders are so specific, it is very difficult to deal with minor changes, like adjustments for school schedules or extracurricular activities, requiring a neutral third party to intervene for even the most minor schedule changes. This decision-making process often requires the assistance of a parenting coordinator.
The same professionals who work as parent coordinators often also have mediation or arbitration practices, as the roles of a parent coordinator and a child custody mediator are similar. However, mediators focus on coming up with a parenting plan, while parent coordinators deal with the actual implementation of the parenting plan and have more of a conflict resolution role. Experience in mediation builds important negotiation and dispute resolution skills, which are essential for facilitating a smoother decision-making process.
Attorneys who become parenting coordinators should have basic knowledge of psychology and child development, although this knowledge can be gained through a combination of experience and study, but not necessarily formal classes. They must be prepared to handle disputes related to school or activities within their scope of work.
Because parenting coordinators may be called as witnesses, they should have experience giving testimony. For most attorneys, this experience is likely to come by participation in mock trials. This preparation is an important part of the decision-making process in real-life cases involving complex custody arrangements.
Can Parenting Coordinators Make Decisions?
New York Appellate Courts have, for a long time, been resistant to the idea that a Court can make an order that delegates the power to make decisions about custody or visitation, which may include decisions about school and extracurricular activities, to third parties.Typically, parenting coordinators can only make recommendations to the judge. Some other states have allowed parenting coordinators to actually make certain decisions, but usually only if they have already consented to be bound by the parenting coordinator’s decisions. This illustrates the complexity of involving third parties in the decision-making process and the level of assistance needed to navigate such scenarios. The outcome of such involvement often depends on various factors, including the coordinator’s experience and the willingness of the parties to accept third-party decisions.
The Eighth District’s ADR Program Formalizing The Role
In 2021 the Appellate Division, Eighth District, created a panel for court-appointed parenting coordinators. This panel is modeled on panels which have long existed for court-appointed forensic custody evaluators. The plan contemplates formal assignment of coordinators with or without the consent of the parties. Sample orders shown on the court’s website include provisions for the coordinators making certain decisions for the parties if they are unable to agree, illustrating the evolving nature of the decision-making process and the types of assistance available. The inclusion of numerous factors can influence how effectively these decisions are administered.
The parenting coordinators on the panel are to be screened for education, experience, and training and will probably be professionals such as family law attorneys, forensic psychologists, or some other mental health professional, such as a licensed social worker with special training and experience. Their background ensures they are well-equipped to assist in the decision-making process, and these factors can significantly impact the outcomes achieved in family law cases.
Serving All Staten Island Neighborhoods
I represent parents and families across Staten Island, including Grasmere, Clifton, Stapleton, St. George, Tompkinsville, Dongan Hills, South Beach, Midland Beach, New Dorp, Oakwood, Great Kills, Eltingville, Annadale, Arden Heights, Huguenot, Prince’s Bay, and Tottenville. All Staten Island Family Court cases are heard at 18 Richmond Terrace, Staten Island, NY 10301.
About Paul W. Matthews, Esq.
Paul W. Matthews is an experienced Staten Island family law attorney with more than 25 years of trial experience in New York Family Courts. He has handled hundreds of cases involving child custody, visitation, paternity, child support, and Family Court orders of protection.
He represents clients throughout Staten Island from his office near Grasmere and also maintains a Manhattan office at 90 Broad Street in the Financial District for parents with matters in Manhattan or Brooklyn Family Court.
Paul personally answers his own phone and provides direct, individualized representation in every case. His practice emphasizes clear communication, practical strategy, and strong advocacy in custody, visitation, support, and parentage cases in the Staten Island Family Court at 18 Richmond Terrace.
Call Paul directly: (347) 461-0760